Friday, May 8, 2015

Mother's Day is for Mothers {A Little Rant}

Recently I've noticed a trend. A trend toward wishing people Happy Mother's Day who aren't mothers. I see it on Facebook and in emails.

 "Happy Mother's Day to all the women who are mothers, who aren't mothers, who wish they were mothers and who never wanted to be a mother but love dogs a lot". Really? I think that would more accurately be called a Happy Women's Day.

I understand that there are some amazing women out there who long to be mothers. Women who have great big hearts and shattered dreams.
I would never try to belittle them or their heart's desires. I was there once. I do think, though, that it's time we stop making everything about everybody. It's kind of like coloring the entire world with gray. It looks blah that way. Why would you want to be given an "honor" that wasn't authentic? It then means why?

On your birthday, you should be celebrated. Because that's what birthdays are for. On Father's Day, Fathers should be celebrated...because yes, that's what Father's Day is for....Secretaries, Nurses and on and on.

It isn't mean to acknowledge someone's special contribution to the world. It just isn't. There is no need to pretend that someone else has made the same contribution, when they haven't.  I think that people may have forgotten that if you celebrate someone for something they did not are then losing all the meaning. All the meaning is lost. Gone.

When I was a single mom I would cringe when people wished me Happy Father's Day. They meant well...but it took away from the true contribution that Fathers make. I could never be a Father. I could only try to be a great mother.

Now, if it was your birthday and I was invited to your party (I really like lemon cake and chocolate is awesome too, so if you are having some, my email address is up there) and I walked into the room and said Happy Birthday to everyone at the party...that would be silly. You would probably be embarrassed for me, as you should be, and you might even feel a little hurt. Why should your guests feel left out on your birthday, even if they wish with all their heart that their birthday was on the same day as yours?  I realize this may be not the perfect analogy, but hopefully it makes sense.

I feel kind of sad that our world seems so intent on making everyone and everything the same. I don't want to be celebrated for anything that I am not. And I would love to think that the special days we have to honor people still actually mean something. My mother is a wonderful woman and there are lots of things to celebrate about her life besides her motherhood. But on Mother's Day when I say "Happy Mother's Day, Mom", I want it to truly be honoring of her mothering contributions, not her other amazing qualities. Let's take the time to restore honor where it is due.

For all those beautiful souls who have lost your children to miscarriage or some other way, you are still a mother, and I honor you and pray God comfort you on this difficult weekend. And for all those beautiful souls who truly mother people that are not your birth children, you are a mother...and the world needs you. I honor you, as well.

So now I've come to the end of my little rant. Let's get back to real and authentic. If you say something, let it be true, all the way through. Happy Mother's Day to all of you Mothers and thank you for your Mothering contributions to this world. We need you. This is not about perfection or comparison or failures. This is about love, dedication, perseverance and sacrifice.

Thank you!


  1. I agree to a certain extent, but this is a hallmark created holiday, I think that my kids and husband wishing me Mother's Day is enough. I am lucky enough to be a mother, the recognition of the one's I love most is the only recognition I need.

    1. I agree that having my family wish me Happy Mother's Day is really all I hope for. Though I also have many other children (now grown) that I mothered through the years and it's nice to hear from them, too! Thanks for stopping by!


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